Meh.

Today has been a weird day. I think that may be on account of me not quite being sure whether I took my medication (mum suggests I should buy a caddy with the days on it. I think I agree) or just because it's actually starting to feel like spring.

I woke up very early and did my usual thing of reading the papers online and then decided that 8am was *the* time to have a go at potting up my tomatoes in a second attempt, fix the greenhouse AND plant some herbs. Oh, and a bit of garden design. I think because the day was so beautiful to begin with, I was inspired to plan where I'll be planting sunflowers and poppies (I can't wait for the summer and the fruit of my labours).

I then marked a whole class worth of exam papers, which wasn't as hard as it sounds, as they were year 7. Although that doesn't stop me from doubting whether I marked them correctly.

We were invited to a first birthday party and service of thanksgiving. We turned up to the pub suitably underdressed for those who hadn't known everyone else had gone to church (we'd assumed that it was a family thing. Evidently not.) And watched toddlers beat each other up, play with a Tigger that for some reason did handstands and do that slidey thing across the floor on their knees that every small boy thinks is essential for a good family do. All of us childless misers were stood by the bar eating Pringles and watching events in bemusement.

After I got home from that, Benn chased Baldrick out, I baked some cookies for work and made a bolognaise. I'm looking forward to an evening of knitting and Flight of the Conchords.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about today...

Ever feel that your life is one bad sitcom??

I'm having one of those weeks. Let's look at the evidence:

1) I fell over in front of a student I was telling off yesterday and nearly smashed my glasses (I mean I went RIGHT over. Thankfully the student was actually concerned)

2) I got home to find my new mini greenhouse had blown over taking out my entire crop of tomato seedlings. All 19 of them. I was able to save four sweet pea seedlings. I am gutted.

3) This morning, whilst faffing around with my headphones on the way to the station, I stepped ankle deep into a puddle. *Sigh*

4) I was given a technology cover.

5) I had a lunchtime meeting.

I am so over feeling cheerful about spring. I think I'm going to hibernate until July.

I have, however, discovered an amazing website www.readitswapit.co.uk for UK readers. I'm currently trying to get the second book in the Twilight series (I know, I know, don't hate me for it! I tried to resist, I really did) and I've got rid of quite a few of my own. Benn is not pleased, as it means that although I am getting rid of books, they are being replaced. He didn't see my helpful argument that at least I'm not *adding* to the total as a helpful argument at all.

Half term

Things have been massively busy in the last few weeks; quite a lot of work drama (thankfully nothing to do with me) meant that we all had to pitch in and I was exhausted by the end of it. I did get that promotion though! It sounds fun, but I will have so much to do between now and Easter (various reports, exam marking, sixth form coursework, parents' evenings... joy) but it'll be fine.

I started cognitive behavour therapy this week. This is all very well and good, but as soon as I'd made my second appointment, I started worrying that I would make it. *Sigh*. I have to keep a worry log, which has been quite revealing if I'm honest.

I finished reading 'Gone With The Wind' which, aside from the portrayal of the slaves, I loved. I watched the film on Saturday and now have an all-out obsession with Scarlett O'Hara. I want the dresses and I don't care if they're a) impractical, b) expensive or c) prevent me from actually getting into my flat. It's all irrelevant.

I went on a dyeing expedition yesterday (before what seemed to be my annual bout of dental work) and Emma and I had a go at various dye techniques at Jan's. Lots of fun and I actually produced a blue I liked. I'll post the pics when it arrives dried and ready! I'm not usually a fan of blue, but my ENTIRE FAMILY seems to want anything I make them to be blue. I may go back at Easter and dye up some yarn for my log cabin blanket. I want to knit it in violent shades of pink, turquoise and (possibly) a dark purple. It sounds hideous, but I don't care!

I also planted five varieties of tomato seed and two of sweet peas, which are now in the bedroom (to save them from the cats) in makeshift clingfilm green houses. Hopefully this year I'll actually get something to survive. I'll be planting poppies, herbs and sunflowers in a couple of weeks. It actually felt like spring today. Yay!

Let it snow..

Let's start with a gratuitous picture of Bronte and Baldrick before we start:

So, I've just had two snow days- a very rare occurrence in the south of England (not so rare when I was growing up 'oop north') and it's been a very welcome break. Admittedly, I haven't done that much, but I've enjoyed the time off.

Benn had never built a snowman until yesterday (he's 26!) which shows how unusual the amount was that we had. It was quite funny; all I could see of Bronte at one point were two ears and a tail! Can I just point out that I knit the scarf in the photo? I do occassionally finish things, y'know!

The irony is that on Sunday I went to an event which was aimed at getting people to grow their own plants. I'd got all excited about spring and then, overnight, we got a foot of snow. However, I have used the time wisely. I've perfected two cookie recipes (double choc and ginger), although I need to stop eating the fruits of my labours.. I've also knit quite a bit on my February Lady Sweater, which is fortunate, as I had to rip back the whole thing back. Fingers crossed, I'm back on track AND I have 1940's buttons :) I've also decided to knit a log cabin blanket as an on-going project. I can't decide on red or green as the main colour theme? Has anyone knit one of these before? Is it annoying or satisfying? I need something to knit whilst I'm watching Judge Judy (yes, I know, I can't help it!)

Benn is in Cambridge tonight for a course. I'm a bit worried, but I'm hoping the snow will hold off until the weekend. I quite like this nesting lark. I'm getting through Gone With The Wind like nobody's business. AND it'll be half term in a week and a half- bonus!

The really annoying thing about the snow? There's been no post for two days! Some of us are waiting for letters!

Blue Monday....

Today is supposed to have been the most depressing day of the year. Recently, I've been dealing with my own depression and I'm trying to work my way out of the whole depression/guilt/anxiety cycle which I've been in. I'm getting there, slowly, thanks to the regular doctor's appointments and support from friends and family. But, today I decided to focus on things that make me happy.

We renewed the lease on the flat for a year. I love this flat. I feel happy here, I'm settled and I can't wait to get home on an evening. I love coming home and knitting, or reading or whatever. I love sitting down for dinner with Benn and talking over the day, seeing Bronte (and Baldrick!) and just generally pottering.

I'm looking forward to spring and growing things. I like that the days are getting longer by 3.5 minutes every day.

I'm knitting a cardigan that I like, in a colour I like and that doesn't make me feel thick.

I have an interview on Wednesday for the promotion. Even if I don't get it, at least I'll have had a go and shown willing.

I discovered today that there are St Clare's and Malory Towers box sets. Even if Benn can't understand why I want to buy books I've already read when I have so many yet to read.

The flights to Ireland are booked :)

I'm baking like a mad thing. Work are paying me and saying that they like the stuff (snickerdoodles today). Even if they're lying, I'm happy!

I bought a bike yesterday. It has a basket on the front (although I don't think Bronte will appreciate me sticking her in it, cycling round singing 'The Hills Are Alive') I can't yet get my balance on it, but I will.

I am extremely lucky and I know that I am, especially in these times. I just wish I didn't have a chemical imbalance in my brain right now!

What makes you happy??

Totally disappointed

I need a whinge. Back in September, I put a commission on Etsy's Alchemy for a ring to be made. I found the perfect jeweller, she had excellent feedback and seemed to know exactly what I wanted. I paid $30 deposit, with the rest to be paid when the ring was complete- by Nov 30th, by which time she repeatedly promised to have the ring made.

Then things started to go wrong. She was hard to contact, she never seemed to be able to tell me where the ring was in terms of progress. Time passed. She said she had family problems, but was working to get back on her feet. I said OK, I'm patient, no worries. I tried not to get in touch with her too often; I didn't want to seem pushy. Then the bad feedback kept appearing. People couldn't get a response from her.

Then she kept dis- and reappearing on Etsy. I finally report her to the Etsy team. The last email I had was from her on Christmas Eve, telling me the ring was still being made and she would get back to me with a picture. I emailed her last Monday. Last Tuesday, I got a response from the Etsy team saying that she had refused to confirm whether my order would be processed. She's been kicked off Etsy and isn't answering emails.

*Sigh.* Because of my patience, I lost my money and even more disappointing is that I trusted someone I thought I could work with :( I still love Etsy and crafters though- I refuse to let one bad apple spoil the barrel for me!

A post in which I realise how much I miss Woolworths

I spent an hour and a half looking for a bun tray yesterday (the kind to make fairy cakes with) and ended up paying quite a lot for one :s Woolies, come back! My department have paid me to make them a batch of buns, so I made some very nice looking lemon drizzle ones which were a recipe of my own invention. I'm very proud!

I'm having a nightmare devising my snood. I've found that a scarf/hat combo is not always practical on the train, so I've been trying to knit one. Well, I did, until I realised it looked like a garish, flamboyant would be armed robber's balaclava. No cast off worked. So I've resorted to crocheting it instead. My yarn also arrived for my February Lady cardigan. Very excited about having a go at a cardi... I've bought red Freedom Spirit, which is lovely and I think will knit up well.

An exciting development- it looks like we may be going to Ireland in May. I am very excited, my mum's side of the family are from Cork and we will be staying there for a couple of days as well as a couple in Dublin. I can't wait!

I'm also waiting to hear if I've got an interview for a temporary promotion at work. Please keep your fingers crossed; it sounds like an interesting proposition and would mean a bit of extra money for a few months.

Remember Baldrick? We have now acquired him on a part time basis (despite what Benn says). He comes in during the day and plays with Bronte- they are very cute together and when I told the neighbour he was coming in, he gave me food! Benn doesn't like him coming in, but I don't mind him being here. I have a feeling that cats do what they please, regardless of what we think they should do!